Emotional Sandwiches Read online

  Emotional Sandwiches

  Warning!

  All Fillings Contain Perspectives

  Sarah Ashley Neal

  Copyright © 2018 Sarah Ashley Neal

  Emotional Sandwiches® is a registered trademark owned by Sanartina Ltd

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

  Matador

  9 Priory Business Park,

  Wistow Road, Kibworth Beauchamp,

  Leicestershire. LE8 0RX

  Tel: 0116 279 2299

  Email: [email protected]

  Web: www.troubador.co.uk/matador

  Twitter: @matadorbooks

  ISBN 978 1789010 671

  British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  Matador is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd

  Dedicated to my Mum

  for all of the reasons she knows to be true

  The Menu

  Article 22

  The Power of Your Mind

  How to Approach an Emotional Sandwich

  The Essential Ingredient

  Course 1

  Fillings Containing Mixed Seeds

  Discovery and Exploration

  S*O*M*E*T*I*M*E*S

  Taking Ownership

  P*A*T*H

  Appearances Aren’t Everything!

  C*H*O*I*C*E

  Join the Brigade and Get in Line!

  H*O*P*E

  Bridging the Gap

  Course 2

  Fillings Experienced in Moderation

  Balance and Management

  C*O*N*F*I*D*E*N*C*E

  The Waiting Room

  N*O*R*M*A*L

  The Puppeteer

  C*O*N*T*R*O*L

  The Double Acts

  D*A*R*K*N*E*S*S

  The Rainbow Effect

  Course 3

  Fillings Enriched with Good Nutrition

  Understanding and Respect

  T*I*M*E

  Speed Limits Apply

  P*A*T*I*E*N*C*E

  It’s Not the Speed That Counts!

  T*R*U*S*T

  Emotional Contracts

  J*U*D*G*E*M*E*N*T

  Reading Between the Lines

  Course 4

  Fillings Containing Anti-Nutrients

  Limitations and Acceptance

  F*A*I*L*U*R*E

  Sugar Isn’t Always the Enemy!

  F*E*A*R

  The Holiday Complex

  G*U*I*L*T

  It’s About the Response-ability

  N*E*E*D

  Desires and Delusions

  Course 5

  Fillings to Educate the Taste Buds

  Learning and Development

  H*O*N*E*S*T

  Choosing the Right Policy

  B*L*A*M*E

  Lying Down On the Job

  F*O*R*G*I*V*E

  The Multi-Step Equation

  H*U*M*B*L*E

  Making a Connection

  The Last Word

  The Final Interview

  The Folders of Your Mind

  Article 22

  The Power of Your Mind

  “News Flash, News Flash: Sandwiches cause reactions! All fillings contain perspectives.”

  *

  Imagine, for a moment, that you have just read this announcement while sitting in your doctor’s waiting room, staring into oblivion. The unusual headline jumped off the page and abruptly entered your field of vision uninvited. Boom! While you appeared to be in a world of your own, the ‘empty stare’ was but an illusion. You were simply taking precautions and mentally wrapping yourself in Clingfilm to safeguard against those who were trafficking contagious bacterium. And you weren’t quite sure who they were. At this point, you didn’t actually know what you were playing host to either, or if it was all in your mind.

  Out of curiosity you picked up the article which went on to say, “The effects may be more noticeable when perspectives are digested for the first time.” Another line read something about ‘managing your reactions’. Skipping over that paragraph for fear of being lured into having to ‘do something’ far too serious, given it was a Monday morning, you settled for the more philosophical bit that followed:

  “Although fillings by nature don’t tend to fix anything or anyone (all on their own), it is the fusion of new flavours which filter through that has the potential to make a difference. Where possible, I’ve resisted using artificial additives, keeping them all home-grown and thoughtfully packaged to subtly entertain.”

  Beginning to feel as though the author was talking directly to you, and on a personal level, you couldn’t help but sense that you were being groomed; being prepared to go on a journey where even your own doctor wasn’t equipped to send you. Uncertain at this stage if a recipe was in hiding, you decided to read more before shaking the magazine to find out – a risk not worth taking, judging by the forlorn patients lounging around the room. Any sudden movement was bound to prompt a zombie uprising, disrupting your flow of concentration.

  The fanciful language seemed unconventional and appeared to draw you in. Even if there was nothing edible to look forward to, you were still intrigued to find out more about the ‘Emotional Sandwiches’. What did you have to lose? After all, what didn’t educate was apparently going to entertain. Anyway, some light reading would come in especially useful while allowing your phantom illness to get its act together and make up its mind if it wanted to come or go – ideally, within the next few minutes.

  Looking up at the clock, the doctor was running reliably late. Great! This provided the perfect excuse for you to give yourself permission to get sucked further into any abstract ideas that were certain to lie ahead and probably satisfied the writer’s inward desire to exaggerate, too. The next chunk of narration only validated your gut feeling, shedding more light on the ‘News Flash’ that had recently illuminated your imagination.

  “Each Emotional Sandwich may provoke an emotional response that impacts positively on how you feel about yourself, relationships, work, family and general life as you know it! Equally they could wind you up leaving you mildly irritated. This is a common side effect associated with not being in the mood really, in which case I suggest you explore them another day. Otherwise, keep going, as one sandwich contains enough filling to contaminate you with an increased sense of self-awareness if you are in the mood for some light reflection.

  Just like food in my opinion. Some days, you don’t have an appetite for that something you seemingly enjoyed the day before. Yet, on another day, it returns with a vengeance reminding you how sublime it tastes and you can’t imagine how on earth you could become bored with it. Putting food aside is something that I find hard to do. The thought of it runs through my veins in the same way that words flow through my mind. Constantly! Food and words bring meaning to my life and they both have the power to make me feel emotional.”

  Emotional?! All this talk about food was making
you hungry. The author had no idea how emotional you were about to get. Not only were you reading about the potential for food to make you feel irritable, you had skipped breakfast, making certain that the lack of it had the potential to do the same. Apparently, it was wise to fast so the results from any impending tests weren’t skewed – even if your thoughts were getting twisted, in response to starvation!

  “So, what is the book ‘Emotional Sandwiches’ about, if it isn’t about ‘real’ food? Well, it is most definitely about an exploration of how several words that appear in our vocabulary come to mean so much more to us than just a string of letters that we’d learned to assemble at school. Their arrangement can be questioned later. A word can be placed on trial, at any point in the future, and tried far beyond the dictionary definition it has been assigned. Do you have any vivid memories of standing in a ‘spelling test line’ at primary school?”…

  Unable to stop yourself from blurting the word ‘No’ – out loud – you turned to the lady beside you and apologised profusely for your vocal outburst, telling her that you had no recollection of being involved in a military operation at such a young age. Aware that this superfluous information only confused her further, judging by her look of angst, you went on to learn more about the author’s own experience:

  “I remember it all too well. It snaked around the doll-sized desks (seemingly for miles) before reaching the teacher. I recall the pressure expanding in my head as I fought hard to keep the letters in the right order, too afraid to breathe in case they fell apart. Finally they emerged in one piece – so did I! The next step involved placing the final creations into sentences in such a way that their meanings made sense. Little did I know that this would take the next forty years to do! This time I gave myself permission to sit down as I continued my quest to squeeze them into lines that breathed new life into their meaning. Although some of us still refuse to negotiate their meaning, in spite of the context, I think a word can be forgiven more easily for existing in isolation. Do you?

  After all, if words could talk, what would they say? A word may tell us something about what they are and their relationships with other words. People they work alongside would get a mention – as would the stories that belong to them. Words would describe the roles they play and their ability to influence in one way or another; how their interviews, to play a part in Emotional Sandwiches, didn’t start off as planned, because—”

  Rudely interrupted by the sound of an unhealthy tannoy system broadcasting your name, you reluctantly put the article down and made your way to the surgery, wondering why you had gone to the doctor’s in the first place. What were you expecting them to do – or say? Offer up a diagnosis, a prognosis or simply make a prediction? Any of these would be acceptable today, based on the fact that all of your aches and pains that you’d experienced last night had appeared to abandon you en route this morning. Concerned, at first, that you’d lost them in transit, you seemed pleased when they did eventually reappear (just as your name was called) if only to confirm that you hadn’t gone mad. It was also a reminder that something was still amiss. You just didn’t know what!

  Were you simply having a reaction to a bad day; a difficult year; or come to think of it, a challenging life…? Then again, maybe life has been kind to you. This doesn’t alter the fact that the unwelcome symptoms you were now experiencing, once again (probably about to be rejected by the medics on the grounds that they didn’t appear life threatening), still require your attention. Or, maybe your attention simply needed to be directed elsewhere, for a while, to allow them the opportunity to disappear altogether.

  Perhaps there isn’t a medical quick fix for every time a symptom sneezes. Maybe the white coat army can do little more than palm your symptoms off onto two little words, suggesting that you could be ‘run down’. And in your heart, you predicted that would be their conclusion. Run down by what, though, had to be the next step to explore. Ideally, you’d come up with a logical answer before considering the notion that an alien intervention had taken place. Explaining that you’d collided with a UFO at some point during your sleep cycle probably wouldn’t go down too well with the white coat army either. Yes, there had to be a logical reason that didn’t involve Sci-Fi!

  Dismissing such ludicrous thoughts, you wondered if it was possible for your physical body to let you know when it’s unhappy with the way you are taking care of yourself. Some of the things we do don’t actually serve us well; yet, we keep on doing them anyway!

  Our emotions talk to us and our reactions tell us how well we’re coping. We may not listen to the entire message, choosing to distance ourselves from lingering too long in our own head space (or heart space) fearful that we might be opening Pandora’s Box. A place where we’ll find these messages stored, sitting tight, in readiness to increase our self-awareness if we so choose. Then those we ignore, which get left behind, generally find another way of manifesting and can sometimes appear as an ailment which requires medical attention. But often we need to do something differently; think differently; behave differently… and when we don’t, we may turn to Blame to come up with a good excuse about why our own wellbeing is not feeling as well as it could be!

  In wonderment, you told yourself, “That all seems rather logical”, chuffed that, clearly, the Monday blues were lifting as your thoughts were beginning to wake up. You knocked on the doctor’s door, wondering if they’d agree too had you had more time to explain your sudden epiphany. Overcome with a sense of déjà vu, while turning the handle, you suddenly recalled that Blame was one of the words in the article to which your eyes had tried remarkably well to avoid paying any attention, unconsciously absorbing it by accident. Now was not the time to engage with Pandora’s Box. The blues were lifting – but they hadn’t been vanquished!

  All of a sudden it registered, while you were hastily thanking the doctor for their time and not their diagnosis! What if you had already dialled into your very own self-awareness contact centre, unknowingly, while scanning the article? What if an emotional shift was suddenly underway, even if you hadn’t consciously intended to make one? Wincing with embarrassment, you scanned the room quickly on your way out to ensure that no one had noticed that you were about to undergo a process of transformation. Into what, it was too early to know. A new stream of consciousness was beginning to flow.

  On departure, as you pushed the door open with the ball of your foot (to mitigate the risk of catching anything else, other than the blues you’d caught that morning), you realised you had yet to read the last section of the article! Inhaling deeply, you returned to the waiting room, seizing the magazine unsuspectingly. If the article had been fortuitously placed on the table, then the serendipitous moment had to exist as something to be exploited and you could always pop it back through the letterbox tomorrow. Reluctant to run, to avoid tripping over Guilt on the way out, you decided to walk with a purpose in pursuit of finding your own answers within – somehow.

  Emotional Sandwiches, here you come…

  How to Approach an Emotional Sandwich

  The Emotional Sandwiches are not dangerous! Yes, I can tell you now that their fillings carry a warning but this is only because they are influential and challenging little characters, full of charm and wisdom. Who said a reaction is always a bad thing? What did you do when you received your first valentine card? React with suspicion, no doubt, as you eagerly opened it wondering if you’d recognise the handwriting and what it would say – what would it mean? I bet you were more than capable of making it fit your own ideas at the time. The sandwiches are no different. You’ll approach one with distrust until you recognise something about it that touches your heart until you work out what valentine message it has for you. You will make the word fit, somehow.

  They are going to appear along your path in stages but ultimately the Emotional Sandwiches will end up mingling with each other on and off. Besides, if all these characters started talking at once, right from
the beginning, you wouldn’t have a clue what each one was trying to say. It would be distracting to listen to their competing voices resulting in a gradual crescendo of white noise. So I have created the ideal opportunity to take this love affair with words and insert them into a menu that promises to deliver each course with pride and respect, allowing each moment to be savoured and discussed with emotion or relished in silent reflection.

  There are five courses altogether. Just as you would tuck into a selection of tapas in a Spanish tasca, to enjoy a small bite of something to eat, I’d like you to approach each sandwich with the same amount of interest. Later on, all the fillings can be modified and perspectives can be added or removed to suit your own individual palate. So go ahead: ‘Coach the artist within you to create’.

  Of course, if you wanted to eat at a carvery, and indulge in a mountain of food in one go, you could have downloaded the contents of a thesaurus, in no particular order, yourself. Yet, this would only represent a bunch of words that continue to sit uncomfortably on each page, awaiting a storyline, as if they have been shuffled from one orphanage to another with no one taking the time to pay each of them a little attention, and giving each a voice that would one day allow them to make a stand and shout out – in upper case – “I HAVE FEELINGS TOO!” This sounds exhausting already!

  Every word that crosses your path wants to have a relationship with you at some point in time and be understood. They want to play a part in your life, that’s all. It is how we approach them and get to know them better that probably matters the most. Just ignoring them when they are clearly trying to tell us something can be detrimental to our wellbeing.

  I reckon that, on occasions, they feel vulnerable as they saunter along your path. At times, you may feel vulnerable when you come across some words that resonate with you more than others as you take an opportunity to explore and decide which ones these are. A friend of mine suggested that they are certainly venerable words, describing them as deserving of respect. I totally agree with him. After sense-checking its definition, elsewhere, others seemed to be of the same opinion. And you may come to the same conclusion.